The Meaning of Family and Friendship from my Perspective, It matters more than you might think

When you think of your family or friendship, what comes to mind?

Some people say that Family and Friendship is like a cocoon (kepompong alis Kadang Kepo kadang Rempong). Cacoon turns a caterpillar into a butterfly, in my opinion, it has a very deep meaning. 

Family for me means the ones who will be beside me no matter what happens, the most loved ones. The outer world loves me when I am strong and effective and dislikes me when I am weak and ineffective. Some good friends also count as a family according to this description. Friends who help in times of weakness so that they rise from adversity. 

I grew up in a traditional Christian family, which is maybe why I am such an easygoing person now. But because of it, we had a strong process of differentiating right and wrong. I think my family taught me this well.

My parents had strong confidence in me from childhood, although I disappointed them many times, such as not being able to bring the results they wanted, not working as hard as I should, or lying about something when I wasn’t. But at the end of the day, when I went back to them, especially to my mom, and confessed I failed, she always gave me shelter and hope and showed me how to move forward. 

I'm barely know my father because he was passed away when I was on the 4th grade and I never got the chance to know him well and during my childhood mostly i was grew up surrounded with my friends since my mom become a single mother and should provide a living to both of us but still my mom always take care of me and always spent her time even though she always bussy being a housing contractor working with the family.

Another big influence came from the fact that I was never forced to do anything. I was given many choices, especially in terms of selecting career options or spouse candidates and choosing what to do and how to do it, my family has always given me autonomy. My mom is very supportive also in my personal life. Sometimes if I woke up and just realized I'm making bad choices, I would get very angry at myself. But my mom always told me not to waste time now regret it, and more carefully make life decisions right now in the time you have.

My family isn’t perfect. We fight. We get on each other’s nerves. My gap of age between my big sisters is 16 years and my parents have their issues that I know only barely and don’t participate in. But we’re family, bound by all our passions and determination. The word means something that can’t be expressed, and I have trouble articulating it.

“You can always tell when two people are best friends because they are having more fun than it makes sense for them to be having.” 

I love that quote and it is so true. Friends are amazing. Whether it’s family members or dear friends who feel like family, it is so nice to have people in your life who see the best in you and who inspire you to want to be better. It’s awesome to be able to laugh at silly things and cry on one another’s shoulders. And then there are those times when you can be together without saying anything at all and just enjoy each other’s presence. 

Friendship is a beautiful thing.  And good friends are priceless. And nothing, and I do mean nothing, beats having it be your family members who are your very best friends of all. Treasure them. Be grateful for them. Show them how much you appreciate them. Take time to laugh and play with them. And take time to sit and do nothing at all other than enjoying your time together.

For me Friends who are there in times of joy and sorrow. Friends who guide people from not knowing to knowing and becoming better. That is what friends do, the family does. We back each other place even if we know they made a wrong decision from the beginning. Companionship, laughter, honesty, sincerity, trust, kindness, love, dedication, devotion to ideals, shared values — these are at the forefront for me. Along with being honorable and honoring commitments. Making time. Listening. Mutual concern and benefit. That kind of thing. These threads woven into a fabric of friendship can become part of a functional foundation for building community.

For a life of meaning, these are things that matter.

Human beings are social creatures. We need others to survive and thrive, and we know this instinctively. You could say it is written in our DNA. But while we know this to be true, our modern societies don’t make it easy to form strong bonds with others. We are constantly fighting against atomization — being alienated from each other as we strive to live.

A popular idea is that it ‘takes a village’ to provide for everyone in a community. There is plenty of modern literature on this idea, but it is an old concept. We need more than a nuclear family. We need community.

In essence, we need mutually supportive exchanges that place value on people. We each have something to give and ideally, in a compassionate society, our basic needs will be met. We might even make some friends.

So perhaps, by making friends, we can work back towards building the village. Some call this intentional community — forming relationships with the intention of building community. This is ever more important as we face increasing social isolation and economic hardship.

I have a few friends I’ve made throughout life that I consider to be true friends. Sometimes we don’t talk for years and yet, when we do talk, it’s like nothing has changed.

Other times, I have had friends let me know I wasn’t being a very good one. It wasn’t easy to hear, but I listened. Later I would look back and realize how right they were. I was a jerk.

I try not to be a jerk these days.

That said, I also try not to let people transgress my boundaries, which is something that happens a lot sometimes. Especially by people who call themselves my friend when they are in fact, not (which is what prompted this essay). When a friend is making life harder, you might consider that they are not your friend at all. Perhaps they are, but then again…

So to dig deeper, what is friendship? First and foremost, it is an honest and mutually beneficial relationship. It’s about spending time and getting to know another human being and enjoying their company. Friendship is what forms from being respectful and honest and willing to grow with someone you care about.

It is a bond shared between humans who embrace equality.

I think this can also be the basis for romantic love if there is mutual interest, as I believe an ideal romance is first based on friendship if you want to experience genuine love. But this is not about romance.

It’s about friendship.

Friendship is its own form of love, and love is an act of sincerity in the essence of being human. Learning to love another human being is an art, a finely calibrated act of mutual understanding, compassion, and regard.

Love is an act of courage.

Family and Friendship is what love fights for.

To bear witness to each other’s humanity and become stronger for it.

Key Message: 
The more we invest in building friendships, the stronger our social ties will be when we need them most. Through friendships, and intentional cultivation of community, we can survive hard times.

And at the End there's a distance between who we were and who we are, no matter how hard you pretend. Sometimes those cracks are hard to ignore.

People come and go and come again in life. You can't worry about the gaps in time. All you can worry about is the time that you have with them. And as you get older, the more you realize that making the most of that time is all that matters.

Family bonds can be formed through anything and protected at all costs.

Thats way I'm a big fans of the movie Fast and Furious. If you are a believer, you have a family. What does all this mean? It means that whether or not you are far or near to your biological family (both physically and emotionally), if you are a believer, you have a family no matter where you go.

https://variety.com/lists/fast-and-furious-best-family-scenes/

A short film about the friendship that really make me appeal